The Ramblings of the Millahtime Man

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

How even Nerds can get Women

Over the last 7 years I have worked either for an internet service provider or now as an engineer. One thing I have noticed is how many of the guys (self proclaimed nerds) I have worked with can't seem to get many women.

I come from a slightly different background than most engineers/IT guys. I was in a fraternity (don't hold that against me), sports, wild social scene and have never had to many problems with women.

There are many reasons that guys have trouble with women but with a few changes it is pretty easy to get on the right road. And no, the changes have nothing to do with personality.

1) The first thing when you meet a woman is how you look. Most women notice clothes. There are many different styles of fashion, so for clothes, as long as they go together should pretty much be fine (For years I always consulted either my sister or a neighbor girl on my outfits. I have no fashion sense of my own.) Also, make sure you dress well. Those faded, now stone washed, jeans that are ten years old with a t-shirt or polo shirt you would wear to work won't usually cut the mustard.

2) Hygiene. Make sure you brush your teeth, shower, smell good (not like you have been gaming for 2 days and havn't moved from your seat). This will make for a much better first impression. Women notice how men smell. If you smell good women will associate you with a good smell and they will remember that.

3) Confidence. This is one of the hardest things. Women always seem like they may want the bad guy. This isn't true. The bad guy has confidence and that is what they really like. It is something that should never be forgotten. Confidence.

4) When your talking with a woman keep much of the topic on her. That will make her feel important and when you repeat things back you show that you were paying attention. Being good at conversation is a very important thing. It's one of those topics every woman either brags about to her friends or complains about to her friends.

Now, for a few date tips:

1) Do for her. By this I mean to open the door for her (including the car door), help her with her coat and be sure that when you sit down that she sits first. Also, when walking on stairs you are on the bottom side and when walking down the street you are on the street side.

2) If your at dinner then you take the seat facing the wall. This will curb you from looking around and keep your attention on the lady of the evening.

3) If you give her compliments then keep them to a few and tell her things like you like her outfit or point out something nice about her shoes.

4) Talk to her. Good conversation is what will keep her around. Ever wonder why there is the term 'Personality Guy' and not 'Personality Girl'. It's because looks aren't as important to women and they key in on personality.

A couple notes:

1) The 2 Day Rule. There used to be the 3 day rule when calling a woman but now it's 2 days. After a date, wait 2 days to call. After you get a number wait 2 days to call. Then you call every 2 days unless it gets serious or there is some other special reason. Plan every 2 days to call though.

2) If you meet her at a bar don't stay by her side all night. Talk to her for a little bit then go back to her friends. This way you don't overwhelm her and leave her wanting more. Just remember to say goodbye before you leave.

3) Confidence. Once again be confident. It is so important I am saying again. Even if your not normally confident be confident with her. Fake it if you have to.

I have a friend who is 25, overweight and heavily balding. He always knows how to dress (and it's not GQ) and what to say. He can walk into a bar and within 10 minutes have women bringing their friends over to talk to him. There is nothing special about him. He just puts in that little extra effort.

Beyond these basic steps there are a million other things you can do that fit each person different and things to look for with women. I would suggest picking up a mens magazine (and playboy or penthouse don't count). My recommendation is Mens Health. It seems to give the best all around advice.

10 Comments:

  • I feel that anyone who needs to meet girls or court girls according to a list of rules has no game to start with and shouldn't even be dating for the sheer fact that they must have social issues.

    By Blogger Jenn, at 11:16 AM  

  • These "tips" are complete bullshit. Open the door for her? Keep the conversation on her? "Do for her"? This is great, if you want to be a pussy and walked all over by her.

    She's not a princess. She's just another person like you are. Don't be desperate and act like you have to score points by holding doors open, buying expensive dinners and drooling all over her.

    Don't send flowers, don't send cards, don't spend more than $50 the date, tell her you'll give her a call at the end of the night and then don't call her for about a week. If she calls you, never answer the phone and only return half of her phone calls.

    If you don't treat her like crap, she's going to dry up your bank account in free dinners and dates without ever putting out for you all the while putting out for some other guy on the site who IS NOT doing these things for her and IS treating her like crap.

    This namby pamby crap in the article is what women well say they want, but the truth is they respond to the complete opposite.

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